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In what seemed like the first real competition for the Beers in 2007, the Beers came out somewhat flat in the first game. 11 runs were produced off 20 hits. Highlights included Phil Crosby hitting his second homerun of the season, as well as Chris Stemp and Ryan Reese going 3 for 4 in game 1.
The Beers turned their fortune around in the second game, producing 16 runs off of 19 hits. Sean Cusick was stellar at the plate, going 4 for 4 with an RBI and scoring 4 runs. With a chance of making softball history at every game, Chris Stemp blasted 3 homeruns and also reached base on a single. If you are doing the math at home, that is a 4.000 Slugging% for the game.
Once again, owners from around the league have petitioned Arlington County League Commissioner, Ed Robinson, for the testing of steroids. Chris Stemp was available for comment after the game.
“Obviously these guys don’t know the power of Under Armor and wrist bands. By the way, you can pick up Under Armor on sale at Sports Authority. We must protect this house. I also wanted to take this opportunity to thank Under Armor for sponsoring me this season.”
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Average: .143
RBI: 2
HR: 0* ( He was once called out on a HR for not touching home. Never before done in the histroy of the sport. The rule was added in 1899 as the “Idiot Rule” as a joke by great homerun hitter Al Spatinski.)
I had a chance to sit poolside with Beers rightfielder, Dan Budnyk. The following is from the interview that took place. None of this is fabricated.
Hey Dan, how you doin? Nice to get a chance to speak to you.
Likewise man, hey, do me a favor, pass me that SPF80 there.
You know its September right? This might not be necessary. Anyways, how do you feel about this season so far?
Oh, its great. Granted, I am struggling slightly at the plate for the moment, my defense has been ON POINT.
Yeah, this is true, a .143 average in the first 4 games of the season is nothing to write home about, but you haven’t made an error, so Coach Crosby has to be loving that.
Pff. Coach Crosby, what a bum. First, he sets the lineup leaving me toward the bottom, then makes us pay for the balls. What is that? Do you see Derek Jeter paying for balls?
(Too easy Dan…) Probably not.
You should come out to the next game. Catch the “White Lightning” in action.
Thanks, so is that the nick name they gave you on the team?
Nope. Gave it to myself.
Wow. Ok, well thanks for your time!
No problem. Now gave me that SPF80 so I can re-lather.
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The Beers were winning 15-0 as lightning ruined their night…. Unless Ed comes through and the Beers can continue the game, here are the stats that never were:
Stemp: 3-run HR
Reese: a MONSTER HR over the centerfield wall
Robbie: 1.000 avg
Cusick: Many RBI line drive singles
Please take a minute of your time today to remember those from 9/11/01.
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Average: .364 RBI: 3
We got the chance to sit down with Beers’ outfielder, Sean Cusick. During the week off, Cusick was the only Beers player to take the oppurtunity to sit down with reporters. We won’t comment on how much he paid us to run this article.
What is your real height?
I am listed at 5′7″.
Ok. Again, what is your REAL height?
5 foot 7.
Right. Do you have any superstitions?
No. I am monigamous.
What does that even mean? Anyway, care to explain the .364 average? It is softball…
I have to go now. More interviews to do.
Thanks for your time.
Yup, had nothin better to do.
After being contacted by Sean Cusick’s agent, we were forced to take down the previous interview. Evidently, it wasn’ supporting his ‘image’.
Who is your athletic role model?
Wade Boggs….Here’s why: http://tastybooze.com/2007/04/the-origin-of-boggs
What was your most embarrassing sporting moment?
When i was 11 I tried riding no hands on my BMX bike and i fell off and got a concussion. Brian Hill had to run back to my house and get my dad to carry me inside. The girl i liked was watchin, eating Nerds.
What is your favorite sports moment you will never forget?
Winning the New Jersey States Traveling Soccer League on a the 5th and final penalty shot.
Please define “monigamous”.
Please refer to the Columbian Hooters waitress in Atlantic City for the definition of ‘Monigamous’
What are your favorite things to do in your spare time?
Download Snoop Doggy Dogg music.
Thanks for your time. Your .364 average still sucks though.
Blow me.
